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Vol. 71, No. 7,
July 1998
In Plain English
Write crisp sentences: Use periods
A liberal sprinkling of periods will help make your writing clear,
straightforward, and easy to read.
By Mary Barnard Ray
Several years ago I had a student who was an excellent writer: His texts
were clear, straightforward, and easy to read. What was particularly unusual
about this student was that his undergraduate degree was in English literature.
Now this field of study teaches mastery of the English language. However,
students from that field usually write rather complicated sentences, filled
with creative wording and multiple imagery, present company pleading guilty.
But this student's sentences were crisp. His writing delightfully undercut
my stereotype.
After a few weeks, when I knew the student better, I asked him how he
developed his writing style. His answer was encapsuled in one comment from
one writing teacher. It seems that one of his professors had a particularly
formidable reputation. The student worked relentlessly on his first submission
and then studied the professor's comments when the paper was returned. Along
with other comments, the professor had drawn the following on the top of
the student's first submission.
The student was mystified, but afraid to ask the professor to explain.
So he followed all the other instructions on the paper and resubmitted it.
Again, he saw the same mark on the top of the rewrite.
Summoning his courage, he finally asked the professor to explain. "These
are periods," the professor said. "Put them in the text."
He did so, with results his clients now enjoy.
From the Mailbag
Separating lists of alternatives
Q: When I prepare
lists of alternatives, my first inclination is to separate them by "and";
for example:
"... the earlier to occur of (a) the occurrence of an Event of Default,
(b) the occurrence of the Maturity Date, and (c) the occurrence of
A Total Loss affecting the Collateral."
Or,
"Choose the tallest of Tom, Bill, Deb, and Al."
My clients and colleagues, however, seem to universally prefer use of
"or" in place of "and" in these instances. Accordingly,
whatever your answer, I'll probably have to go on using "or";
however, if "and" is correct, I will at least have the comfort
of knowing my instincts were not off on this matter.
Mary Barnard Ray is a legal writing lecturer and director
of the Legal Writing Individualized Instruction Services at the U.W. Law
School. She has taught writing workshops and offered individual sessions
for law students; she also taught advanced writing and commenting and conferencing
techniques in the training course for the legal writing teaching assistants.
She has taught and spoken nationally at many seminars and conferences of
legal and college writing instructors. Her publications include two coauthored
legal writing books, Getting It Right and Getting It Written and
Beyond the Basics, published by West Publishing Co. |
A: The best general
guideline is to write what is literally accurate. For example, if only one
item can be chosen from the list, use "or." In your two examples,
then, "or" would be accurate. Use "and" only when all
items listed are included.
If one or more than one can be chosen, use an accurate description of
the alternative at the beginning or end of the list.
"The Lessee agrees to notify the Lessor if any of the following
occurs:
"(1) a plumbing problem leak that results in any damage to the floor
or walls or both, ...."
This structure sounds a bit cumbersome, but it can prevent later wrangling
about loopholes, so it's worth it.
"And" could be appropriate, however, if you are discussing
the presence of many options, rather than discussing the choice itself.
"Many options exist for our client: waiting for the employer to
act first, beginning the formal grievance process, speaking informally to
supervisors, and proceeding with legal action."
Thus, the writer's logical meaning is what should guide the choice.
I hate to send you back to your colleagues with only that point in your
favor, though, so here's a more esoteric tidbit you can use if you want.
Some say that "alternative" should be used for only two choices.
Use "choices," "options," or some other word for more
than two. Most sources, however, disagree; even H.W. Fowler's Dictionary
of Modern English Usage calls that distinction "a fetish."
Now, if anyone questions your use of "alternatives," you are ready!
If you have a writing problem that you can't resolve,
send your question to Ms. Ray, c/o Wisconsin Lawyer, State Bar of
Wisconsin, P.O. Box 7158, Madison, WI 53707-7158. Or, email
your question. Your question and Ms. Ray's response will be published
in this column. Readers who object to their names being mentioned should
state so in their letters.
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