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    Wisconsin Lawyer
    July 01, 1998

    Wisconsin Lawyer July 1998: In Plain English

     


    Vol. 71, No. 7, July 1998

    In Plain English


    Write crisp sentences: Use periods

    A liberal sprinkling of periods will help make your writing clear, straightforward, and easy to read.

    By Mary Barnard Ray

    Several years ago I had a student who was an excellent writer: His texts were clear, straightforward, and easy to read. What was particularly unusual about this student was that his undergraduate degree was in English literature. Now this field of study teaches mastery of the English language. However, students from that field usually write rather complicated sentences, filled with creative wording and multiple imagery, present company pleading guilty. But this student's sentences were crisp. His writing delightfully undercut my stereotype.

    After a few weeks, when I knew the student better, I asked him how he developed his writing style. His answer was encapsuled in one comment from one writing teacher. It seems that one of his professors had a particularly formidable reputation. The student worked relentlessly on his first submission and then studied the professor's comments when the paper was returned. Along with other comments, the professor had drawn the following on the top of the student's first submission.

    Periods w/ Down Arrow

    The student was mystified, but afraid to ask the professor to explain. So he followed all the other instructions on the paper and resubmitted it. Again, he saw the same mark on the top of the rewrite.

    Summoning his courage, he finally asked the professor to explain. "These are periods," the professor said. "Put them in the text."

    He did so, with results his clients now enjoy.


    EnvelopeFrom the Mailbag

    Separating lists of alternatives

    Q: When I prepare lists of alternatives, my first inclination is to separate them by "and"; for example:

    "... the earlier to occur of (a) the occurrence of an Event of Default, (b) the occurrence of the Maturity Date, and (c) the occurrence of A Total Loss affecting the Collateral."

    Or,

    "Choose the tallest of Tom, Bill, Deb, and Al."

    My clients and colleagues, however, seem to universally prefer use of "or" in place of "and" in these instances. Accordingly, whatever your answer, I'll probably have to go on using "or"; however, if "and" is correct, I will at least have the comfort of knowing my instincts were not off on this matter.

    Mary Bernard Ray

    Mary Barnard Ray is a legal writing lecturer and director of the Legal Writing Individualized Instruction Services at the U.W. Law School. She has taught writing workshops and offered individual sessions for law students; she also taught advanced writing and commenting and conferencing techniques in the training course for the legal writing teaching assistants. She has taught and spoken nationally at many seminars and conferences of legal and college writing instructors. Her publications include two coauthored legal writing books, Getting It Right and Getting It Written and Beyond the Basics, published by West Publishing Co.

    A: The best general guideline is to write what is literally accurate. For example, if only one item can be chosen from the list, use "or." In your two examples, then, "or" would be accurate. Use "and" only when all items listed are included.

    If one or more than one can be chosen, use an accurate description of the alternative at the beginning or end of the list.

    "The Lessee agrees to notify the Lessor if any of the following occurs:

    "(1) a plumbing problem leak that results in any damage to the floor or walls or both, ...."

    This structure sounds a bit cumbersome, but it can prevent later wrangling about loopholes, so it's worth it.

    "And" could be appropriate, however, if you are discussing the presence of many options, rather than discussing the choice itself.

    "Many options exist for our client: waiting for the employer to act first, beginning the formal grievance process, speaking informally to supervisors, and proceeding with legal action."

    Thus, the writer's logical meaning is what should guide the choice.

    I hate to send you back to your colleagues with only that point in your favor, though, so here's a more esoteric tidbit you can use if you want. Some say that "alternative" should be used for only two choices. Use "choices," "options," or some other word for more than two. Most sources, however, disagree; even H.W. Fowler's Dictionary of Modern English Usage calls that distinction "a fetish." Now, if anyone questions your use of "alternatives," you are ready!


    If you have a writing problem that you can't resolve, send your question to Ms. Ray, c/o Wisconsin Lawyer, State Bar of Wisconsin, P.O. Box 7158, Madison, WI 53707-7158. Or, email your question. Your question and Ms. Ray's response will be published in this column. Readers who object to their names being mentioned should state so in their letters.


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