In Plain English: Write crisp sentences: Use periods
A liberal sprinkling of periods will help make your writing
clear, straightforward, and easy to read.
By Mary Barnard Ray
Several years ago I had a student who was an excellent writer: His
texts were clear, straightforward, and easy to read. What was
particularly unusual about this student was that his undergraduate
degree was in English literature. Now this field of study teaches
mastery of the English language. However, students from that field
usually write rather complicated sentences, filled with creative wording
and multiple imagery, present company pleading guilty. But this
student's sentences were crisp. His writing delightfully undercut my
stereotype.
After a few weeks, when I knew the student better, I asked him how he
developed his writing style. His answer was encapsuled in one comment
from one writing teacher. It seems that one of his professors had a
particularly formidable reputation. The student worked relentlessly on
his first submission and then studied the professor's comments when the
paper was returned. Along with other comments, the professor had drawn
the following on the top of the student's first submission.
The student was mystified, but afraid to ask the professor to
explain. So he followed all the other instructions on the paper and
resubmitted it. Again, he saw the same mark on the top of the
rewrite.
Summoning his courage, he finally asked the professor to explain.
"These are periods," the professor said. "Put them in the text."
He did so, with results his clients now enjoy.
From the Mailbag
Separating lists of alternatives
Q: When I prepare lists of alternatives,
my first inclination is to separate them by "and"; for example:
"... the earlier to occur of (a) the occurrence of an Event of
Default, (b) the occurrence of the Maturity Date, and (c) the
occurrence of A Total Loss affecting the Collateral."
Or,
"Choose the tallest of Tom, Bill, Deb, and Al."
My clients and colleagues, however, seem to universally prefer use of
"or" in place of "and" in these instances. Accordingly, whatever your
answer, I'll probably have to go on using "or"; however, if "and" is
correct, I will at least have the comfort of knowing my instincts were
not off on this matter.
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Mary Barnard Ray is a legal writing lecturer and director of the
Legal Writing Individualized Instruction Services at the U.W. Law
School. She has taught writing workshops and offered individual sessions
for law students; she also taught advanced writing and commenting and
conferencing techniques in the training course for the legal writing
teaching assistants. She has taught and spoken nationally at many
seminars and conferences of legal and college writing instructors. Her
publications include two coauthored legal writing books, Getting It
Right and Getting It Written and Beyond the Basics,
published by West Publishing Co.
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A: The best general guideline is to write what is literally accurate.
For example, if only one item can be chosen from the list, use "or." In
your two examples, then, "or" would be accurate. Use "and" only when all
items listed are included.
If one or more than one can be chosen, use an accurate description of
the alternative at the beginning or end of the list.
"The Lessee agrees to notify the Lessor if any of the following
occurs:
"(1) a plumbing problem leak that results in any damage to the floor
or walls or both, ...."
This structure sounds a bit cumbersome, but it can prevent later
wrangling about loopholes, so it's worth it.
"And" could be appropriate, however, if you are discussing the
presence of many options, rather than discussing the choice itself.
"Many options exist for our client: waiting for the employer to act
first, beginning the formal grievance process, speaking informally to
supervisors, and proceeding with legal action."
Thus, the writer's logical meaning is what should guide the
choice.
I hate to send you back to your colleagues with only that point in
your favor, though, so here's a more esoteric tidbit you can use if you
want. Some say that "alternative" should be used for only two choices.
Use "choices," "options," or some other word for more than two. Most
sources, however, disagree; even H.W. Fowler's Dictionary of Modern
English Usage calls that distinction "a fetish." Now, if anyone
questions your use of "alternatives," you are ready!
If you have a writing problem that you can't
resolve, send your question to Ms. Ray, c/o
Wisconsin Lawyer, State Bar of Wisconsin, P.O. Box 7158, Madison, WI
53707-7158. Or, email your
question. Your question and Ms. Ray's response will be published in
this column. Readers who object to their names being mentioned should
state so in their letters.
Wisconsin Lawyer
