In Plain English
Writing Good News and Bad News Letters
There are only two kinds of letters:
mostly good news and mostly bad news. Learn how to write both, and your
speed and comfort level will improve.
By Mary Barnard Ray
I have good news and bad news about letters from attorneys. First the
bad news. Most people don't enjoy reading letters from attorneys. Just
seeing a law firm's name in the return address is enough to raise most
readers' blood pressures. Then reading the letter itself, with its
formal and technical language, leaves the reader feeling alienated,
confused and stressed.
Furthermore, most attorneys don't enjoy writing letters.
In fact, for some attorneys, writing that letter is as stressful and
alienating as reading it is for the recipient. Writing also is unduly
time-consuming for many attorneys, who can write five-page legal
arguments more quickly than they can create two-page letters.
Now the good news. Writing letters can be easier for you if you
realize that there are only two basic kinds of letters: mostly good news
and mostly bad news. Learn how to write each kind of letter, and your
speed and comfort level will improve dramatically.
Delivering good news
When writing a good news letter, organize your letter to do three
things: 1) state the good news; 2) explain further as needed; and 3)
close politely. This organization works whether the letter is two
paragraphs long or two pages long.
In good news letters, the secret is to get to the good news early.
State the good news in the first sentence if you can.
Dear Mr. Goodguy:
I am pleased to inform you that Honest Abe Finance now agrees that
your obligation to them is only $900, as you stated. The $900,000
indicated on your previous statement was caused by a computer error,
according to the finance company. That error has been corrected.
On July 7, I spoke on your behalf to the manager of Honest Abe
Finance, Joe Below, and explained ...
If some introductory explanation is needed before the good news, keep
it short. Always get to the good news by the end of the first paragraph.
Delaying will not make the reader pay more attention to your
explanation. Instead, it will make the reader feel restless, anxious or
irritated.
Getting to the good news quickly is especially important when you are
writing to a busy reader. In general, the more documents a person must
read in a day, the greater that reader's impatience will be with delays.
For example, when writing to corporate executives, try to make your
point in the first 30 seconds of reading time.
Delivering bad news
When writing a bad news letter, you need an additional dimension to
your letter. You need to be tactful, to make the news easier to swallow.
To achieve this, think of your letter as a sandwich. Surround the meat
of your letter, the bad news, with two pieces of bread: Before and after
the bad news, add a sentence or paragraph that establishes the attitude
you are taking toward the reader. For example, if you must tell a client
that you cannot represent him or her in a legal matter, you could begin
your letter with thanks for being asked.
Dear Ms. Eyre:
I appreciate the confidence you expressed when you asked me to
represent you in your employment discrimination case and was happy to
accept your case.
But do not extend this tactful opening for very long. Just as with
good news letters, your reader will get impatient if the main point is
delayed beyond the beginning of the second paragraph.
When stating your bad news, be objective and clear, regardless of the
tactful tone of your opening. Psychology studies have shown that people
are more likely to misread bad news, so clarity is a priority.
... Regrettably, I have since discovered that my senior partner has
represented Mr. Rochester in other matters. Therefore, it would be
inappropriate for me to represent you in this case because of the
potential conflict of interest.
Mary Barnard Ray is a legal writing lecturer and
director of the Legal Writing Individualized Instruction Services at the
U.W. Law School. She has taught writing workshops and offered individual
sessions for law students; she also taught advanced writing and
commenting and conferencing techniques in the training course for the
legal writing teaching assistants. She has taught and spoken nationally
at many seminars and conferences of legal and college writing
instructors. Her publications include two coauthored legal writing
books, Getting It Right and Getting It Written and Beyond
the Basics, published by West Publishing Co.
After you state the news, include any needed explanation, including
any relevant good news that you are able to add.
In other matters, however, I can still serve as your attorney. Thus,
for example, I can still advise you related to the trust fund you have
established for institutionalized orphans.
Often bad news will require more detail, making these letters longer
on average than good news letters. After your explanation, add the final
piece of bread: Include a polite closing paragraph that echoes the
attitude you established in your opening paragraph.
Although I cannot represent you in this particular case, I hope to be
able to serve you in any other legal matters.
This closing is important not so much for its content as for its
tone. If the closing paragraph exhibited a shift in tone, then the
reader would be left to speculate about the letter's real message, all
because of the ambiguity between the opening and closing paragraphs. But
as long as thetone of the closing paragraph is congruent with the
opening, the closing clarifies the general tenor of the letter and
enhances the reader's trust and your credibility.
In summary, writing letters can become more efficient and comfortable
when you have a general pattern of organization. Your letters can become
more effective, too, with a clearer sense of the purpose and focus of
each part of that organizational pattern.
If you have a writing problem
that you can't resolve, send your question to Ms. Ray, c/o
Wisconsin Lawyer, State Bar of Wisconsin, P.O. Box 7158, Madison, WI
53707-7158. Or, email your
question. Your question and Ms. Ray's response will be published in
this column. Readers who object to their names being mentioned should
state so in their letters.
Wisconsin
Lawyer
