Vol. 70, No. 5, May
1997
Lawyers and Stress:
An Anti-Quick Fix View
There is no quick way to avoid stress.
But here are some ideas to stimulate real change in your life.
By Gregory J. Van Rybroek
Lawyers routinely seek ways to improve how they practice law and enhance
their careers. The committee overseeing the Bar's Wisconsin
Lawyers Assistance Program (WisLAP) undertakes this column to address
issues that affect lawyers as people. Future columns, to be written by Gregory
J. Van Rybroek and Dennis W. Kozich, may focus on lawyers and stress, procrastination,
anxiety and depression. (See Kozich Sidebar)
The Wisconsin Lawyers Assistance Program's primary purpose is to provide
confidential counseling service on WisLAP's two toll-free helplines. WisLAP
operates the Substance Abuse Helpline at (800) 254-9154 and the Stress Helpline
at (800) 543-2625.
When it comes to solving stress, there is no drive-up window for quick-fix
answers. There is no elixir to eliminate stress. In fact, we should stop
searching for a magic snake oil and realize that if anything quick actually
worked, stress already would follow smallpox in the history books.
What is stress? Stress is a mental and/or physical reaction to
life pressures. Symptoms of stress can become so severe that our behaviors
become maladaptive or dysfunctional. We might experience anxiety, depression,
anger, irritability, sexual dysfunction, sleeplessness, overuse of alcohol
or drugs and difficulty concentrating. We all have experienced the unpleasant
internal and external unravelings that happen when our daily lives start
to overload. If our stress symptoms become regular occurrences, generally
we become unhappy and difficult to be around. Often, it is difficult to
reduce stress, and there is a natural human tendency to look for an easy
way out.
It may not be particularly helpful to read stress-reduction solutions,
like "build in time to relax" or "exercise regularly."
Pithy recommendations may give off a certain exuberance, but they lack the
substance to create behavior change - because sound-byte truisms cannot
cut to the bone of what drives and exacerbates stress.
Instead of hunting for simple answers, try approaching stress from a
deeper perspective. The anti-quick fix view offers challenging decisions
that can lead to true stress reduction and a happier life.
Anti-quick fix considerations about stress
Simple solutions. Give up on simple solutions; they do not solve
complex problems. Solutions, if they are to be had at all, are somewhere
inside each person. There is a strong tendency to look outside oneself for
solutions, but brutal honesty says the opposite is more effective - an inside
look offers more possibilities for solutions to complex issues.
Choices. We all make choices about the directions in our lives,
and there are many reasons to choose one direction over another. But if
the outcome seems to be negative despite the best intention, it may be time
to examine the reason for the choice. We have some control over our choices
in life, but often not as much as we would like. When choices are made,
losses on one level may produce more important gains on another. For instance,
if making money is your choice, then be honest about it and accept what
money brings and what making it takes away.
Explore other ways of achieving deep satisfaction in life. Clinical research
shows that people become happier when they feel in control, develop positive
self-esteem, have realistic goals and expectations, have fit and healthy
bodies and have supportive friends. However, the easy part about good choices
is deciding to make them. The hard part is figuring out what has to change
to actualize those choices.
Suffering. Making serious choices often is accompanied by an internal
struggle that involves some degree of personal suffering and pain. While
we tend to avoid suffering if we can, the painful suffering process can
help bring clarity of direction to our lives. Psychological suffering often
is the result of an unwillingness to change something in our lives.
A common scenario for change is that an external stressor is demanding
change; we are not personally choosing change. When we behave as if there
are no problems, the problems do not evaporate. Rather they tend to fester,
and we suffer more later as a result of the crisis that festering created.
For example, we all have been in situations where we know we should say
something about how we really feel, but we avoid it because it is awkward
or seems silly and so on, and act as though things are fine. These situations
usually break apart and we have to deal with the fallout anyway. We discover
that we might as well have spoken up in the first place.
Change. We do not like to change - it is too hard. Usually we
do whatever it takes to maintain the status quo. When change is forced,
such as a result of an accident, an unexpected illness or a spouse wanting
a divorce, then we have to deal with it. While we cannot foresee random
problems forcing change, there are many areas in our lives where, if we
look closely, we can see problems developing. Usually we know at some level
when things are not going well, but we are choosing not to go through the
suffering it takes to change the situation. The question becomes one of
deciding to choose the pain of change or the painful consequences of maintaining
the status quo.
Self-examination. Consider psychotherapy. Entering into serious
psychotherapy takes intense personal courage. If psychotherapy is productive,
it means entering into a confidential relationship with someone to touch
the bone of your issues in order to resolve them. The psychotherapy relationship
is deeply personal and distinctly different than other relationships. It
means pressing into the idea of change and choice in one's life, and while
it could be painful and unattractive, it has a productive purpose.
Unlike the legal arena, effective psychotherapy does not operate using
the Rules of Evidence as a means of leveling the playing field. Rather,
the Rules of Life come into play, and they can be much more difficult to
master.
Conclusion
The way to really get at stress and its multitude of variants is to admit
that life is full of problems and always will be, and that people are capable
of change, but they have to have the courage to make very difficult choices.
Such choices usually involve personal pain and suffering, and one place
to seriously reflect on choices and change is in the process called psychotherapy.
At first concepts like choice, suffering and change do not seem concrete
and specific, and therefore appear unhelpful. Instead of rejecting the concepts
as too mushy, reflect on their practical utility. That is, you can decide
to concretely and specifically examine your personal choices and how much
you are willing to suffer in order to change. That is not mush - it is as
hard as concrete gets.
References
WisLAP Helplines
- Stress and the practice of law, depression, anxiety, career matters:
(800) 543-2625.
- Chemical dependency, alcohol and drug abuse: (800) 254-9154
Books
- Seligman, Martin E.P., What You Can Change ... And What You Can't
(Learning to Accept Who You Are), Ballantine Books-Random House, 1993.
- Myers, David G., The Pursuit of Happiness, Avon Books, 1993.
Periodicals
- "The Talking Cure for Stress," Health, Nov./Dec. 1996,
pp. 69-74.
Internet Sites
Gregory J. Van Rybroek, U.W. 1990, also holds a Ph.D. and is a licensed
psychologist. He is the deputy director at Mendota Mental Health Institute
and teaches in the U.W.-Madison departments of psychology and psychiatry
and at the U.W. Law School. |