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  • November 19, 2025

    We Are Better Lawyers When We're Not Alone

    When colleagues reach out to you to just talk through something, they're not showing weakness. They're showing wisdom. As a thank-you to those who have helped her in her legal career, Teresa K. Kobelt talks about how we are all better lawyers when we’re not alone.

    By Teresa K. Kobelt

    stock photo

    I imagine a lot of you got into law for the same reason I did – I wanted to help people and make a decent living while doing it. It hasn’t always been easy, whether it is a difficult client or a difficult issue.

    Now, after 37 years of practice, I'm preparing to retire with one clear certainty: we are better lawyers when we're not alone.

    I've been thinking about what made the difference over these decades. It wasn't just the law school education or the wins in my case column. It was the colleague who picked up the phone when I called with a half-formed question. The attorney who let me talk through a strategy, even when they had nothing to gain from the conversation. The elist where someone always – always - knows the answer to the most obscure procedural question.

    Being there for each other isn't just collegiality. It's how we survive and thrive in solo and small firm practice.

    The Power of Thinking Out Loud

    Sometimes the person on the other end of the phone doesn't need to say much at all.

    Teresa Kobelt headshot Teresa Kobelt, U.W. 1988, is an attorney at Bartelt Grob, S.C., in Middleton, where she focuses on business, real estate, and civil litigation.

    I've mentored students and younger attorneys who apologize for "taking up my time" when really, they're doing the most important work a lawyer can do: thinking carefully before acting.

    When someone reaches out just to talk through something, they're not showing weakness. They're showing wisdom. They know that articulating a problem to another human being, even before that person responds, creates clarity that staring at a computer screen never will.

    I've been on both sides of these conversations countless times. As the listener, I've offered perspective. As the talker, I've often solved my own problem midsentence, then thanked my colleague for their brilliant insight – when all they did was listen.

    Elist Gold

    Our SSFGP elist is a marvel. Someone posts at 8 a.m. about an obscure real estate or civil procedure issue, and by 9 a.m., three people have weighed in with experience, citations, and encouragement.

    Where else does that happen? Where else can you admit you don't know something and receive help instead of judgment?

    These digital exchanges are more than information sharing. They're proof that we're not isolated islands of practice. We're a community that understands the stakes, the stress, and the satisfaction of this work.

    What I Want to Share

    As I prepare to step back from active practice, I want to document what I've learned about the human side of being a lawyer. Not the legal analysis – you can get that from Westlaw or Fastcase – but the intangibles:

    • How to ask for help (and why it makes you a better lawyer, not a weaker one).

    • What it means to mentor without being condescending.

    • Why investing time in your colleagues pays dividends you can't measure.

    • How a five-minute conversation can save hours of anxiety.

    • The art of being present for someone else's process.

    Thanks for Being There

    This blog is for those of you who've ever hesitated before sending that email or making that call.

    It's for the lawyers who wonder if they're the only ones who don't have it all figured out.

    It’s about being there for each other.

    Mostly, it's a thank you: To everyone who has been there when I or anyone else needed them.

    And a reminder to all of us: keep showing up for each other. Because in the end, being there is what makes us not just better lawyers, but better at being human in this profession.

    This article was originally published on the State Bar of Wisconsin’s Solo/Small Firm & General Practice Blog of the Solo/Small Firm & General Practice Section. Visit the State Bar sections or the Solo/Small Firm & General Practice Section web pages to learn more about the benefits of section membership.




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    Solo/Small Firm & General Practice Blog is published by the Solo/Small Firm & General Practice Section and the State Bar of Wisconsin; blog posts are written by section members. To contribute to this blog, contact Nancy Trueblood and review Author Submission Guidelines. Learn more about the Solo/Small Firm & General Practice Section or become a member.

    Disclaimer: Views presented in blog posts are those of the blog post authors, not necessarily those of the Section or the State Bar of Wisconsin. Due to the rapidly changing nature of law and our reliance on information provided by outside sources, the State Bar of Wisconsin makes no warranty or guarantee concerning the accuracy or completeness of this content.

    © 2025 State Bar of Wisconsin, P.O. Box 7158, Madison, WI 53707-7158.

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