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    Wisconsin Lawyer
    December 04, 2009

    How can I say no to handling my family members’ legal matters, and still get invited to holiday gatherings?

    I don’t have a problem saying no when my brother-in-law asks me to represent him in an OWI case, because I don’t practice in that area. But how can I say no to my sister when she asks for help with a legal matter in my practice area? I’d still like to see my niece and nephews and be welcome at holiday gatherings.

    Wisconsin LawyerWisconsin Lawyer
    Vol. 82, No. 12, December 2009

    Focus on Family Member’s Best Interests

    Laura Katers       ReillyBe truthful, but instead of focusing on your own discomfort or reluctance (which won’t be as compelling), focus your response on the best interests of the family member. Point out that the case will be better served by a lawyer who can be impartial. For example, when asked to represent a family member in a divorce, note that the family member is likely to get more impartial advice from a lawyer who doesn’t personally know both sides. Most lawyers work hard to be professional, but we are also humans with our biases and opinions. Often a client gets better advice when the lawyer handling the matter doesn’t have those prejudices, even on a subconscious level. The same is true of an estate planning or probate matter, where appearances alone could spur claims of undue influence by a disgruntled beneficiary.

    Raising ethical issues works well, too, if they actually are present in the fact situation. No caring family member would want you to violate the canons of ethics to handle his or her matter. (Somewhere, my law school ethics professor is smiling!)

    – Laura Katers Reilly, Kendricks, Bordeau, Adamini, Chilman & Greenlee PC, Marquette, Mich.;
    lreilly@kendrickslaw.com

    Respond to our next question:  

    How can I assess if the law firm I’m interested in working for is a good fit for me?

    I just moved to a new community and don’t know anyone. How can I learn about local law firms, and what information will help determine if a particular firm is a good fit for me?

    How to respond: Email your brief response (about 200 words) by Jan. 1, 2010, to wislawyer@wisbar.org, subject line: Good Fit. Include your name, affiliation, and city. The editors will select several responses for publication and will notify you in advance of publication if your response has been selected. The next column will appear in the February 2010 issue. 

    ‘No’ Usually Results in Hard Feelings

    I doubt there is a solution to the problem posed; to wit, how to say no to friends and relatives who request legal help. Not only do friends and relatives believe it is their right to expect such help, but they also think that it should be rendered without charge. I know this from long experience, and I cannot imagine a way to say no without the refusal resulting in hard feelings.

    – John G. Byrne, retired, Milwaukee;
    jbyrne5004@sbcglobal.net

    The Friends and Family Client; Trouble in a Nice Packa

    Sometimes trouble comes in nice packages. It may not seem like it at first, but representing a friend or family member can often be the cause for a lawyer making big mistakes. How could the people you care about the most be the biggest source of potential malpractice concerns? The answer is that quite often a lawyer representing a friend or a family member throws out all his or her usual rules for controlling a client matter and keeping it on track when a friend or family member is asking for legal help.

    A friend or a family member who has a very high level of trust in you will seek you out for legal assistance without regard for your area of practice or specialty. Lawyers should resist the urge to dabble in unfamiliar practice areas, or even worse, unfamiliar jurisdictions, because someone close to them needs help. If you are called on for legal help, be mindful of the systems and methods you have developed to help keep your legal matters on track. Ask that the individual meet you in your office, and establish a client file and calendar the matter, just as you would for any other client.

    – Todd C. Scott, vice president member services, Minnesota Lawyers Mutual Insurance Co.;
    tscott@mlmins.com


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