In Plain English

Writing Good News and
Bad News Letters

There are only two kinds of letters: mostly good news and mostly bad news. Learn how to write both, and your speed and comfort level will improve.

By Mary Barnard Ray

I have good news and bad news about letters from attorneys. First the bad news. Most people don't enjoy reading letters from attorneys. Just seeing a law firm's name in the return address is enough to raise most readers' blood pressures. Then reading the letter itself, with its formal and technical language, leaves the reader feeling alienated, confused and stressed.

Furthermore, most attorneys don't enjoy writing letters. In fact, for some attorneys, writing that letter is as stressful and alienating as reading it is for the recipient. Writing also is unduly time-consuming for many attorneys, who can write five-page legal arguments more quickly than they can create two-page letters.

Now the good news. Writing letters can be easier for you if you realize that there are only two basic kinds of letters: mostly good news and mostly bad news. Learn how to write each kind of letter, and your speed and comfort level will improve dramatically.

Delivering good news

When writing a good news letter, organize your letter to do three things: 1) state the good news; 2) explain further as needed; and 3) close politely. This organization works whether the letter is two paragraphs long or two pages long.

In good news letters, the secret is to get to the good news early. State the good news in the first sentence if you can.

Dear Mr. Goodguy:

I am pleased to inform you that Honest Abe Finance now agrees that your obligation to them is only $900, as you stated. The $900,000 indicated on your previous statement was caused by a computer error, according to the finance company. That error has been corrected.

On July 7, I spoke on your behalf to the manager of Honest Abe Finance, Joe Below, and explained ...

If some introductory explanation is needed before the good news, keep it short. Always get to the good news by the end of the first paragraph. Delaying will not make the reader pay more attention to your explanation. Instead, it will make the reader feel restless, anxious or irritated.

Getting to the good news quickly is especially important when you are writing to a busy reader. In general, the more documents a person must read in a day, the greater that reader's impatience will be with delays. For example, when writing to corporate executives, try to make your point in the first 30 seconds of reading time.

Delivering bad news

When writing a bad news letter, you need an additional dimension to your letter. You need to be tactful, to make the news easier to swallow. To achieve this, think of your letter as a sandwich. Surround the meat of your letter, the bad news, with two pieces of bread: Before and after the bad news, add a sentence or paragraph that establishes the attitude you are taking toward the reader. For example, if you must tell a client that you cannot represent him or her in a legal matter, you could begin your letter with thanks for being asked.

Dear Ms. Eyre:

I appreciate the confidence you expressed when you asked me to represent you in your employment discrimination case and was happy to accept your case.

But do not extend this tactful opening for very long. Just as with good news letters, your reader will get impatient if the main point is delayed beyond the beginning of the second paragraph.

When stating your bad news, be objective and clear, regardless of the tactful tone of your opening. Psychology studies have shown that people are more likely to misread bad news, so clarity is a priority.

... Regrettably, I have since discovered that my senior partner has represented Mr. Rochester in other matters. Therefore, it would be inappropriate for me to represent you in this case because of the potential conflict of interest.

Mary Barnard Ray is a legal writing lecturer and director of the Legal Writing Individualized Instruction Services at the U.W. Law School. She has taught writing workshops and offered individual sessions for law students; she also taught advanced writing and commenting and conferencing techniques in the training course for the legal writing teaching assistants. She has taught and spoken nationally at many seminars and conferences of legal and college writing instructors. Her publications include two coauthored legal writing books, Getting It Right and Getting It Written and Beyond the Basics, published by West Publishing Co.

In other matters, however, I can still serve as your attorney. Thus, for example, I can still advise you related to the trust fund you have established for institutionalized orphans.

Often bad news will require more detail, making these letters longer on average than good news letters. After your explanation, add the final piece of bread: Include a polite closing paragraph that echoes the attitude you established in your opening paragraph.

Although I cannot represent you in this particular case, I hope to be able to serve you in any other legal matters.

This closing is important not so much for its content as for its tone. If the closing paragraph exhibited a shift in tone, then the reader would be left to speculate about the letter's real message, all because of the ambiguity between the opening and closing paragraphs. But as long as thetone of the closing paragraph is congruent with the opening, the closing clarifies the general tenor of the letter and enhances the reader's trust and your credibility.

In summary, writing letters can become more efficient and comfortable when you have a general pattern of organization. Your letters can become more effective, too, with a clearer sense of the purpose and focus of each part of that organizational pattern.

If you have a writing problem that you can't resolve, send your question to Ms. Ray, c/o Wisconsin Lawyer, State Bar of Wisconsin, P.O. Box 7158, Madison, WI 53707-7158. Or, email your question. Your question and Ms. Ray's response will be published in this column. Readers who object to their names being mentioned should state so in their letters.