Feb. 11, 2026 – How often should attorneys expect to interact with pro se individuals? And when they do, what’s the best way to set firm boundaries and explain a legal process without giving legal advice?

For Ellen Atterbury, Assistant City Attorney for the City of La Crosse, these aren’t hypothetical questions. They’re part of her weekly routine.

“Dealing with pro se individuals is very common in legal practice – both in private and public,” Atterbury said. “When I do municipal prosecution work, the majority of defendants are pro se individuals.”

A Collaborative Style with Clear Boundaries

Atterbury takes a straightforward approach to setting expectations from the start.

“I like to very frequently get across, ‘I’m not your attorney. So-and-so is my client – that’s who I represent.’ However, I am a person too.”

Empathy, she’s found, doesn’t weaken your position – it builds trust. “I try to be as empathetic as I can and just be like, ‘Look, I am so sorry for what you’re going through as a person … however, this is the role I have today.’”

It’s a style that works well for her. “If I have the option of being nice and helping explain something to someone, I will always choose to do that,” she said. “That’s the style that works for me, and I find that I have good reception from people too that way.”

Start Every Conversation with Clarity

Atterbury begins each interaction with a clear explanation of who she is and what her role is in the process.

“I always try to say, ‘This is who I am. This is my role. I can tell you a little bit about what this process would look like,’” she said. That early transparency helps people feel less lost.

“Sometimes they walk in and they just feel really emotional or confused about the process. And so then we have a sit-down and talk about that first.”

Atterbury recommends paying close attention to what the individual says and how they act to help guide the conversation. “I usually just kind of watch for their emotional cues to see what they need to have explained and when.”

Document Everything

Some interactions are smooth. Others can be tense or unpredictable.

For younger attorneys, Atterbury recommends being ready when things take a turn. “Anytime you think you’re in an uncomfortable situation or something’s happening that feels really wrong, take note of it and make sure it’s saved somewhere in case that comes up later,” she said.

Atterbury keeps detailed notes of each interaction, including questions that may veer toward legal advice. “If I get the sense they’re trying to really dig at legal advice, I’ll make sure I have a note on that so I’ll remember in case it comes up in the future.”

That record-keeping becomes critical if someone later misrepresents what happened. If the matter does go to court, you can then explain to the judge, “‘This is the spiel I go through when I deal with people like this. This is what I say. This is what I do.’”

Respect Is the Foundation

For Atterbury, treating pro se individuals with respect is both a personal ethic and a practical strategy.

“I always try to tell people that my offer and what we’re talking about is not going to change whether or not you’re represented,” she said. “So they feel like they have respect as an unrepresented individual.”

And it works. “I find that when I try to be more humble with pro se individuals, that tends to go further,” she said. “They’re like, ‘This is just her job. She’s helping me how she can. She’s not my lawyer … but I’m feeling okay about my resolution because I got to talk about it and I didn’t feel dismissed because I wasn’t an attorney.’”

Let Them Be Heard

In the courtroom, Atterbury believes strongly in giving people a chance to speak.

“I’m not going to be a jerk and object to every irrelevant thing they say unless we’re getting really off topic or hostile,” she said. “They just want their story to be told, and I’m not here to make that more difficult.”

She acknowledges that municipal court judges tend to give more leeway to pro se litigants – and she supports it. “It’s really important that they know they’re treated with respect too.”

When Things Get Difficult

Of course, not every interaction is cooperative. “Sometimes people come in and they are just hostile immediately,” she said. “It’s really hard to build any kind of relationship or back and forth.”

Atterbury recalled more challenging situations in private practice – particularly when opposing parties who once had attorneys later decided to represent themselves.

“Those were usually some of the more difficult people to deal with,” she said. “Maybe spinning words or something to try to make me look bad. Maybe blatantly lying.”

In these situations, Atterbury recommends attorneys keep this mindset: “I can only control my controllables.”

“I can't stop this person from saying this in court, even though I know it's a bold-faced lie. What I can control is how I react to that situation and how I manage my own client case load and how I manage my own reputation.”

That mindset keeps her grounded.

“I just make sure to document that for myself and take note of it so when it happens, I’m not feeling panicked.”

Judges, she notes, are usually good at reading between the lines. “When I’m dealing with particularly contentious individuals, they often play their hand in front of the court,” she said. “Even though this person may be saying all sorts of terrible things about me or my client … the judge is going to get a sense of what’s true and what’s not.”

Final Advice

Atterbury encourages newer attorneys to know their style and lean into it. “Know what your lawyering style is … who you are as an attorney,” she said.

And when things feel off, don’t ignore it. “Anytime you have that ‘spidey’ sense that something’s not right – take note of it. Remember it. Ask someone about it if you need to.”

In the end, her approach is grounded in realism and compassion.

“People are just people,” she said. “Let’s just get through this. This is my job. I can only do what I can.”